


hiding true colours, made you fall apart

by horsehead_nebulaa



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Bilbo Baggins, Bilbo is So Done, Crack Treated Seriously, Cultural Differences, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gandalf Is a Little Shit, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Torture, because im throwing it outta the window, you don't need to know steven universe to read this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2020-09-25 02:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20369266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsehead_nebulaa/pseuds/horsehead_nebulaa
Summary: In a hole in the ground, there lived - not a hobbit, but another manner of creature. A creature who had grown tired of adventures, who's heart was a beautiful gleaming gemstone. He stayed in the Hobbit hole, still going out to protect and help Middle-Earth from the shadows. But other than that, he sits in his warm home, content with resting.Of course Gandalf had to ruin that by barging into his Smial with thirteen dwarves who were too curious for their own good.





	1. unwanted visitors

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! i really wanted to write a fic about bilbo being a mysterious magic being and i thought hey steven universe has pretty interesting lore. then my sleep deprived brain went hey lets add rock aliens and rock men together and see how it goes so i present, _this. _

_Long ago, during a time that only the elves know through whispered tales, stone murals and broken temples, they descended. At first, men thought they were messengers from Varda, but they were cold, apathetic to the folk around them as they settled into the land. Like wildfire they spread, sucking the life out of the land and leaving nothing behind as they used magic that Middle-Earth couldn't understand. Men were quick rename them as parasites but elves called them by the name they were known for, Gems._

_They couldn't be killed, oh believe me the people of Middle-Earth tried. But they would fall in a cloud of smoke only to rise again from light, they could not be reasoned with for their leaders did not care for the woes of man. They were fierce, malicious and unstoppable._

_Then, they appeared._

_They were of the same breed, still Gems. Althought instead of trying to end the existence of Middle-Earth, they were called many things; rebels and from the men, Gartha and Aran-Cundo from the elves, dishonorable but merciful from the dwarves, and lastly, they called themselves The Crystal Gems._

_It was a spectacle, Gems fighting one another for Middle-Earth. The rebels sought to protect middle earth and the creature who resided in it. They called themselves The Crystal Gems, being led by a rose woman who did not care for armour. The war was long, centuries of fighting before the rose woman finally ended it by killing their leader._

_Middle earth had their protectors, and the vile creatures retreated into the sky. All was well once more. But then a light washed over the land, and when the morning sun rose, their protectors were gone._

* * *

Bilbo enjoys mornings, the sun stealing his attention from important work, the familiar noises of Hobbits' beginning their daily routine. Children being let out to play after breakfast, only to be ushered back in for second breakfast. He let a content sigh pass through his lips as he pushed an opalescent globe aside and went on with his morning. He relished the crisp wind kissing his cheeks as he swung the door open ready for the day ahead.  
  
He had expected several things when opening his door in the morning, the welcoming sun on his skin, possibly a neighbor saying hello, maybe a wild herd of tookish children in his garden demanding him to tell them a tale of old. Seeing Gandalf loitering by his fence like the creep he was, however, was not one something he expected.  
  
"Gandalf!" He cocked his head to the side, confused, irritated, surprised and almost glad to see the wizard.  
  
"I'd thought you'd greet me with a good morning," the man bemoaned with a familiar mirth in his eye. "It is an enjoyable morning, though."  
  
"Yes, and I was having a good one too before I opened the door," Bilbo replied as if he didn't feel the beginning of an awfully familiar headache. There was no escaping this nosy man. "What do you want this time Gandalf?" He sighed; hopefully, he could still enjoy the morning if the wizard decided to mind his own business.  
  
The wizard perked up immediately. Bilbo soured at the sight, "In all honesty my old friend, I never imagined to see you here of all places," he joked with a merry grin, the other scowled at the quip.  
  
He continued, "If you must know. I'm looking for someone to share an adventure with."  
  
As soon as 'adventure' left Gandalf's lips, he felt his body grow cold. The sun seemed to vanish from his skin. He couldn't hear what else he had to say, he just stood there, staring at the vibrant green grass that had become oh so familiar with and he clutched his pipe with an iron grip.  
  
"An ... _Adventure_, you say?" Bilbo asked tensely, making sure Adventure had a capital, Gandalf's Adventures were too grand for such passive language. "Well, perhaps you should try over the river. The Tooks would have kittens if you offer them an adventure."  
  
"I think you know why I didn't go to them," Gandalf lowered his pipe.  
  
Bilbo pursed his lips as he was stared down by the taller man. With clenched his fists he responded, "Gandalf, you know very well that I've grown wary of adventures," he croaked, "Besides, can't you ask Mal, maybe Poppyseed they'd be thrilled."  
  
"Poppyseed and Star has business with the elves," he began, but Bilbo tutted under his breath. They always had business with the elves. They lived with the elves for great makers' sake. "Malachite has isolated himself and is unreachable as usual. They are all busy with their own lives."  
  
"And I'm not? Gandalf if you're going to do nothing but judge my life choices then you've wasted your time. I've handled much worse," he scowled, offended at the man's statement.  
  
Gandalf scrunched his face with abhorrence, waving his hands over his shoulder. "To think I should have lived to be greeted by one of my dearest friends as if I were a stranger selling buttons and other nick nacks, I'm hurt honestly. I thought you might've grown tired of green hills and gossiping hobbits," he huffed, childishly for a wizard.  
  
"I'm perfectly happy here," he grounded out.  
  
"Happy? Bilbo my dear friend you've seen wonders so beautiful and rare I can't help but grow envious of your eyes. Last time we met not only were you almost my height, but you were lively! Running headfirst into danger with caution thrown into the wind." Gandalf walked into his garden and began to tap the shorter man in the chest. "Constantly going on about your freedom, how you were a fierce warrior - Where's that Bilbo now? You've rusted away, my friend."  
  
Bilbo continued to stare at the ground, clutching his pipe with a vice grip. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, counted to ten and sighed out, knowing that no matter what he is defeated. "How many am I expecting?"  
  
Gandalf puffed his chest with pride and slipped his pipe into his long sleeve. Bilbo had always wondered if it was a magic wizard pocket. He chuckled at the other's dismay, "Thirteen."  
  
"Thirteen men! Gandalf I don't have room for-"  
  
"Never said they were men."  
  
"How! - I swear if you herd boars into my house again-"  
  
Gandalf laughed, it was beginning to sound like ominous bells in Bilbo's head, "No, my dear friend, Dwarves."  
  
And with that, the tall man left with a satisfied smile and a tap of the walking cane he called a staff. Leaving Bilbo gawking watching as he flew over the grassy hills.  
  
Some may have scolded Bilbo about not having a backbone. He was mentally thumping him in the head himself, but he knew the grey wizard well. Over the several years of knowing the roguish wizard, going on adventures with him, trying to refuse adventures with him, there was one big thing he had learnt long ago.  
  
Gandalf was like an omen, if he were to come to you, there was no escaping whatever venture he wished.  
  
He took one, solitude puff of his pipe, chewing on the nub as he inhaled some Old Toby.  
  
There goes his good morning.

* * *

When Dwalin knocked on the door with the Tharkûn's mark. He didn't expect other than gaining a burglar, which was necessary but not essential. If the Hobbit refused, they could always use Nori.  
  
From what he had seen of Hobbits, which was not much, they were gentlefolk. The ones he saw in Bree were skittish, the few that were still awake in the Shire walked away briskly at the sight of him.  
  
"Ah- I was wondering when you would start turning up," the Hobbit who opened the door bowed his head was similar to the rest. A pointy yet round nose and ears, almost elvish to the warrior's disgust. He was skinnier than the other Hobbits, he still had a roundness in his cheeks, although his figure was lacking an ample stomach he saw on many, but what made him furrow his brow was his eyes. Like topaz trapped in marble, they reflected the inside light in a way healthy eyes shouldn't. He cuffed the judgement off his shoulder, there was no need to judge his host so quickly. He's never seen a Hobbit this close up before, they probably all have eyes like the one in front of him.  
  
"Dwalin," he grunted, bowing his head "-at your service."  
  
"Oh goodness, my manners seem to have left my manners seem to have left me," the Hobbit stammered, opening the door wider. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours. Please come in."  
  
Dwalin shuffled inside to be greeted by a wave of warmth and a burst of rich smells flooded his senses. "Please leave your weapons and boots by the door," the Hobbit smiled before slinking back into his home. The fighter stared at him oddly for a moment, quickly glancing at his bare hairy feet before rapidly doing what he asked for.  
  
He walked inside, resting his two axes, Grasper and Keeper, gently next to the umbrella stand. He turned to the nearest open doorway and looking past a parlour he saw a table full of mouthwatering food. The Hobbit piped up next to him, "Gandalf said there was going to be thirteen of you. I forgot how much dwarrows ate, so I hope it's enough-"  
  
"This'll be plenty Master Baggins," he patted Bilbo on the back causing him to stumble and sputter. He strode over to the table and grabbed a bread load, gnawing into it with vigor.  
  
Bilbo watched as the warrior dwarf tear apart the bread with a pathetic smile as he whispered.  
  
"Oh, dear."

* * *

"Well, this is quite the turnout!"  
  
"Gandalf I'm going to shear that flimsy beard of yours in your sleep." Bilbo grounded out as he watched a rambunctious dwarrow practically tear apart his kitchen and dining room.  
  
"I forgot how a rowdy Dwarrows could be," Bilbo continued, "They're worse than Amethysts. I would've honestly preferred if you brought the boar herd again," he crossed his arms, scrunching his nose in frustration. “One of them scraped mud off on Belladonna’s Glory box! The nerve of them.”  
  
"Oh please - you've always had a soft spot for dwarves," the wizard smiled knowingly, glancing back to the dancing dwarrow.  
  
"Yes I suppose I do - but I also have a certain soft spot for men, elves are very charming, and I have a special place in my heart for hobbits. Gandalf you of all people should know once you spend a good millennia or several with them you tend to grow fond."  
  
"Excuse me - sorry to interrupt," a meek dwarf, Tori or Gori maybe - he was one of the ones in the pile moments ago. Bilbo had trouble catching his name. "But what should do with my plate?"  
  
Bilbo was about to respond but the blonde dwarf, Kili – Fili? interrupted him. “Here Ori! – I’ll take it.” He snatched the plate out of the shy dwarf and threw it over to his brother without a care in the world.  
  
“Hey! That pottery is almost a hundred years old!” Bilbo protested, but the darker haired dwarf just snickered, throwing it to another dwarf with an amused “Oops.”  
  
“Oh for great maker’s sake! – Don’t do that you’ll blunt the knives!” He gritted his teeth, his chest beginning to burn.  
  
“Ooh, did ya’ hear that, lads? He says we’ll blunt the knives!” The dwarf with the funny hat cackled, and the others soon followed with a chorus of grating laughter.  
  
“Blunt the knives, bend the forks!” The dark-haired younger dwarf started up. Bilbo felt his face twist into something sour.  
  
“Smash the bottles and bum the corks!” The blonde added, and he felt his chest burn hotter.  
  
_“Chip the glasses and crack the plates,”_ the rest of the dwarrow were quick to join in, and he felt his ears begin to ring. The headache from earlier that day slowly returning. The singing became blurred as he clutched his ringing head, his chest growing hotter as the Dwarrow got louder.

_"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_  
  
“Master Baggins?” The same shy voice from before, Dori? No no, Ori spoke up. He breathed in, then out, and relaxed her shoulders, then breathed in again. 

"_**ITKITÎ!**_" Bilbo bellowed with so much might his small body shook. The room went deathly silent. With a shaky voice containing so much emotion he yearned to release, he spoke again, "Great! Now if everyone could please move to the parlour so I can clean this up after we talk." He gritted his teeth and watched as one by one, twelve dwarves shuffled into the other room with shocked faces. 

He sighed through his nose, muttering various curses of various languages of old through his teeth. "-And I appreciate it if my goblet was on the coffee table and not in the pockets of a dwarf," he watched as the dwarf with a star type hairdo stiffened and the grey one next to him smacked his arm with a scowl. He would've smiled if he wasn't fuming. 

Once all of the Dwarves had stumbled out of the room, he quickly cleared up the broken glass on the floor. He couldn't help but internally groan as he noticed the old elvan runes etched into the broken bowl. He continued to clean it up, listening to the dwarrow chatter quietly amongst themselves.

"-But he knows _Khuzdul-_"

"Why on middle earth does know our sacred tongue,"

"There must be some kind of reason for a _halfling_ to know."

"Maybe if you'd let him explain himself all would be revealed" Gandalfs voice broke through the hushed whispers. Bilbo reminded himself to thank Gandalf later on. 

He continued to breath heavily, clutching his chest and silently rubbing his chest. After taking a to calm down, he slunk back into the parlour to see most of the dwarves either say cross-legged on the ground and some chairs trying to hide their faces. 

"You were a lot of help," Bilbo felt his nose twitch as he glared up at the amused wizard. 

"It was an entertaining spectacle." Gandalf hummed, stroking his bread with a small smile. 

He sputtered for a moment, then took another breath. "Gandalf, my dear, _dear, dear old good friend Gandalf,_" he spoke in a sickeningly sweet tone that made the wizard pale with every 'dear'. "Now that our company has been fed - would you please kindly tell me - what the bloody HELL is going on?!"

There was another long moment of silence as the taller of the two shuffled his feet, "Well you see-"

"-You don't know?" The red-haired dwarf furrowed his brow. Bilbo gave him an incredulous shake of his head, growing even more confused as the dwarrow went back to whispering rapidly to themselves. 

"All would be explained when our last member arrives," the wizard waved a hand to the dwarves, and they stopped immediately and, like the gods had planned a perfectly timed joke, a loud and blunt knock shook the door. 

"He's late. But excellent timing none the less," Gandalf hummed, scratching his chin thoughtfully. Bilbo stared at him for a minute, grumbling as the knocking continued. He strode over to the door and swung it open. 

When he met a pair of icy blue eyes and silently cursed the blasted wizard for being the coy bastard. As the gem in his chest practically rattled as he gazed upon the King under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield. 

Nevermind kissing Gandalf, he was going to smack him upside the head for being such a devious conniving bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> khuzdul ( dwarvish )  
itkitî: _ the imperative form, meaning “silence!”or “shut up!”_  
quenya ( elvish )  
gartha: _to defend / keep_  
aran-cundo: _noble guardians_  
its?? lowkey hard to find specific translations but hey, i got the internet. also theres a lot of kinds of elvish so that's kinda sucky


	2. disturber of the peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bilbo gets angrier, gandalf isn't helping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is admittedly a bit of a filler chapter that i want to get outta the way because this scene is both important but lil boring if you don't like excessive talking and exposition.  
but please at least read the end notes because i wanna do something but im unsure how well it'd be received.  
anyway i hope you enjoy this chapter i sweat i'll get to the more interesting stuff very soon ... hopefully  
ALSO HOLY FUCK THE M O V I E

"Tharkûn. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door," the king scowled as he strode inside, brushing past Bilbo and almost cuffing his shoulder on the way in.

Bilbo quickly broke his shocked trance. Shaking his head and blinking dumbly. He moved to check the outside of the door to see nothing, but he knew better.

"A mark? Gandalf I just had the door painted you could've just put up a sign," he slammed the door shut and turned to the wizard. 

He shrugged, smiling his usual all-knowing smile. Bilbo wanted to scratch that grin off his face.

Gandalf waved over to the brooding dwarf, "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." 

Thorin turned to look him up and down. Bilbo suddenly felt the urge to cover his chest self consciously. "So - This is the Hobbit," the king grunted, "Tell me, Master Baggins, have you done much fighting?" 

"I beg your pardon?" Bilbo sputtered with an incredulous grin. 

"Sword or Axe? Which one?" He persisted, the scowl on his face growing. 

Bilbo crossed his arms and held his chin just as high as Thorin's. Time to humour the impolite king. "Well, I'm best at conkers - though I fail to see why that's relevant. But if you must know I am decent when it comes to-"

"Just as expected." The dwarf curled his lip in disgust, "Gandalf you said you found a burglar - he looks more like a grocer if anything else." 

Bilbo's felt ears burn with rage. A _grocer,_ the audacity of the royal bastard - he's fought in more wars than he could count on two hands! He gritted his teeth behind his lips as Gandalf winced, quickly retreating into the parlour as he murmured old prays for the king under his breath.

"What did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say, is Dain coming with us?" The bald dwarf grunted, Dwalin, he remembered vaguely.

"No. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone," Thorin shook his head, staring at the ground with a hidden irritation. 

Bilbo huffed, crossing his arms, "Great! Now that our late arrival has arrived we can now discuss why you are all in my house." His eyes flickered between the wizard and the king, unphased as Thorin glared at him harshly. 

"There's food in the kitchen I'm sure you can get some yourself Master Dwarf," he jerked his head to the kitchen. Not so secretly hiding his grin as the king grumbled under his breath and stomped over to the carnage the dwarrow had left behind. 

"Bilbo if you could-" Gandalf was quickly interrupted with a fierce glare. He took a step back from the shorter man, stifling a laugh as Bilbo scrunched his nose angrily. He tapped his staff against the hard wood floor and the candles in the room glowed brighter. 

He practically preened with satisfaction as the grumpy dwarf came back knawing on a bread roll, brooding to himself. The group of dwarves shuffled around the only table in the room, creating a huddled semi-circle around the king and wizard. 

"Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." Gandalf shuffled around his robes until he brought out a faded map. As soon as Bilbo laid eyes upon the parchment, he felt something in the back of his throat tighten. 

"Erebor, The Lonely Mountain." Bilbo looked down at the map, "Gandalf-"

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain," A dwarf abruptly spoke, causing the small man to jump and turn. The one with the hearing piece, "as it was foretold; _When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end!_" The dwarf looked smug as he stared down at the map. The rest of the dwarves parroting back with "_Aye!_" varying from earnest to cheerful. 

"I see," Bilbo nodded, then turned to the wizard. "Gandalf. Do you suddenly hate dwarves?" 

Silence followed. 

"..No?"

"Right," He nodded again, more thoughtfully this time, "Do you happen to hate these dwarves in particular?"

"No - Bilbo what are you on about?" Gandalf turned to face him. 

"Because you know damn well you're sending these ones on a damn suicide mission!" Bilbo threw his hands up in exclamation. "Gandalf this is madness! A dragon still lays dormant in that mountain, and you're sending a bunch of ill-mannered dwarves to their deaths." 

He could hear roars of protest from the dwarrow around him. 

"I'm not afraid of some overgrown lizard!" 

"Who're ya callin' ill-mannered?"

"Oi!"

"How dare you?!"

"What did you say?"

"We may be few in number, but we’re fighters!" The young blonde spoke above the rest, a determined smile on his face. Bilbo almost felt envious of the naivety he seemingly held. 

"Besides! We have a Wizard!" The darker haired brother piped up from beside him. It was as if he was explaining how the sky was blue. "I bet you've killed hundreds of dragons before haven't you Gandalf?" 

Bilbo couldn't help but let out an ugly snort of laughter before Gandalf could even stumble out an excuse. The absurdity of the whole situation!

"Mh, Gandalf the dragon slayer does have a wondrous ring to it." He snarled dryly as he stared up at the man. "Yes, Gandalf how many dragons have you killed?" He feigned the same naive look the dwarf had as his friend turned a quick scarlet. 

"Oh well - you know - Hm," the wizard suddenly gained a look of nervousness. It reminded Bilbo of an embarrassed Took flaunting when they'd get caught stealing flowers from his front garden.

The company of dwarves began to yell, some gambling on how many dragons Gandalf had killed while some older dwarves began to holler their doubts. The smallest in the room sighed, Bilbo wished he forgot how boisterous and capricious dwarves could be.

Thorin barred his teeth, "Itkitî!" He stood up, slamming his fist on the table, and for the second time that night, all of them stopped promptly and stared. The king turned to glower at Bilbo, "The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years, he cannot have survived in that mountain for that long without leaving," he growled as Bilbo leaned back and raised a disbelieving brow. He's obviously not seen how stubborn a dragon could be when it came to their hoards. 

The leader turned to have the rest of the dwarves, "Rumours have spread of the dragon's likely death. Are we supposed to stand back while the threat of others stealing the wealth of our people hangs overhead? Or do we take back what's ours! Du Bekâr!" 

Bilbo watched all of the dwarves chant as he rubbed his aching forehead. How the neighbours aren't already on his door, asking if someones been murdered will be a mystery. Hell, he'd be surprised if everyone in the Shire was still asleep. But then again, Hobbits place the importance of sleep next to the importance of food. 

"Yes, but isn't the front door locked?" He raised his hand as the dwarves stopped to stare at him. "That means there's no way into that mountain."

Gandalf chuckled. Composing himself, he flashed his smug all-knowing smile. "Now my friend - that's not entirely true," he shuffled through his robes once more until he pulled out a dwarven carved key. Everyone seemed to light up with interest or stare in awe. 

Bilbo sulked, really wanting to slash that smile off his face, maybe sew up his mouth while he was at it. He purposefully made him look dumb in front of guests.

"Where did you find this?" The king tried to snatch the key from the wizard's hands only for it to be lifted up from his grasp. 

"It was given to me by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf waved it around his head for a moment before dropping it into Thorin's waiting palm.

"If there's a key there must be a door!" The young blonde spoke up again. Bilbo couldn't help but silently question how old the lad was. 

"There's a hidden door," Gandalf leaned over the king's shoulder, pointing to the scratchy runes on the yellow map. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it. But we can find someone else for that."

"You'll need someone to sneak in and avoid the dragon's rage," Bilbo muttered, mainly too himself. Oblivious to all the dwarves sudden interest towards him.

"We'll need a burglar," the skittish dwarf declared. 

"Mmh - a good one at tha..." Bilbo trailed off, listening to the rusty gears groan and creak in his head. He turned to Gandalf again, who was still smiling with that disgusting omnipotent smile. 

"No," He began his irritation bursting through. His deep calming breaths won't save him now. So he let the floodgates open. "No no, no great stars Gandalf you pruney bastard!" He yelled so loudly he almost expected the windows to rattle. "Gandalf I have come to this place to rest, I have a job to maintain! You can't just drag me along on another one of your nonsensical quests!" 

"Bilbo!" The wizard began to chastise. "Your allies can take your load easily while you're away." 

"Oh, really!" He felt his face flush a myriad of colours, "Because last time you took me on an adventure Poppy and Malachite caused an Aerial Lunar Spire to crumble! _An ancient monument!_ Do you honestly think I have time for this absurdity."

Bilbo finished with a frustrated huff, turning his nose to the air as he began to storm off.

Dwalin scoffed, "I knew it - the wild is no place for gentlefolk cannot fend for themselves.” 

"Master Dwarf I assure you I am far from gentle," Bilbo turned to hiss at the bulky dwarf. So venomous that the dwarf recoiled in surprise. "Give me one good reason I join this foolhardy quest Gandalf, or your hat will be a Centipeetles lunch." He continued. Gandalf tugged the hat tighter on his head. 

"You will receive a fourteenth of the treasure," Balin tried to reason, pulling a scroll out of his robe. 

"I have no use for golden treasures," Bilbo sharply replied, causing the wise dwarf to falter, but he kept his kind smile. 

"You can't just hole yourself up in this place - only leaving for missions. The Poppy worries about you if it weren't for Star she'd march right down here. You can't just wither away, or you'll lose your spark." Gandalf began. 

Bilbo felt his face flush with indignation. How dare he talk about this in front of strangers. 

The wandering wizard persisted, "What would Belladonna think-"

_SHLINK_

Gandalf stood frozen, his pointy grey hat now pinned to the wall behind him by a sleek elven dagger. Bilbo's cheeks were such a bright flushed blue, but he didn't yell again, not in front of a crowd who already thought bad of him. Instead he cleared his throat, walking up to the table and plucking a scroll out of a shell shocked dwarf. Looking at the fancy handwriting and cheap ink that wrote, _'DEED OF CONTRACT'_ with a subtle sneer. He took a deep, unsteady breath, and with thinly veiled anger, he spoke again.

"There are three bedrooms and blankets in the spare room and living room."

"Bilbo-"

"Please avoid the study and backroom. They are off-limits." 

"Bilbo-"

"Goodnight." He finally snapped, bowing to the company of startled dwarves. He turned around and quickly walked away, almost jogging into the study hall and slamming the door closed. He hid his face his hands and muffled a scream through his palms. 

In the parlour, a dwarrow stayed frozen. Gandalf was cradling his hat and muttering about temperamental gems under his breath.

After a long moment, Bifur nudged his brother's arm, signing rabidly. _"Was it just me or did his chest glow?"_

"I dunno I was watching the wizard," Bofur shrugged, and most of the dwarves around him murmured that they were also looking at the wizard.

"Probably a trick of the light," the miner reassured, patting the toymaker on the shoulder. 

The other dwarf shook his head and grumbled. Like he would imagine rainbow light coming from a Hobbits chest! Preposterous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright folks - i'm in a pickle and im sorry for asking this
> 
> alright i wanna do something with the story that i'm not sure about it. it might leave some plotholes or be too much happening at once depending on how i handle it. i don't wanna reveal it yet bc i want it to be a surprise if i go through with it. so i'll leave you with this;
> 
> would you all like for the diamond authority and homeworld to possibly be apart of the plot and have the whole rose quartz twist involved in the story  
or continue with what im going with, just exploring the existence of gems in general and how they would interact with middle earth
> 
> i know i could do both if i go with the first option but i just wanna see what you all think of it. i might write a chapter about it first and see how it goes. 
> 
> but anyway thank you so much for all the kudos and comments!! critiques and suggestions are always invited! _ because holy heck someone please yell at me if a mess up i have the perception of a broken light bulb_


	3. imposing princes and salty muffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> curious kili's trying to be mischievous but ends up listening to something he shouldn't have  
bilbo is reluctant but still bitter   
gandalf doesn't enjoy breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is is a shorty and admittedly a bit rushed but exams are over and i rlly wanted to get this out. the next chapter will hopefully be much longer ;0c  
i'm also fully into having the pink diamond arc being in the fic so sue me  
anyway thank you for the kudos and critiques and suggestions are always encouraged and i hope you enjoy this !

Kili, ever since he was a dwarfling, has always been too curious for his own good. Uncle Thorin and Dwalin would groan and mumble that he should've grown out of it by now. But his mother would simply laugh and say he got it from his father. To which his Uncles' would groan louder and curse the man silently. He always knew that his curiosity would get him and his brother into trouble. He knew very well from experience, but he just couldn't help it. It was like an itch in his brain that he yearned to scratch. 

Right now that itch was very overwhelming as he stared at the room across from him. 

He stared at the door from the bed, which was the comfiest thing he'd ever laid in, he must note. The bedroom door was wide open, and his brother was snoring into his neck, so there was no way to avoid the circular door. He tilted his head over to his Uncle, who was sprawled out on an equally comfy looking chair with a blanket haphazardly thrown onto him. 

He hummed. Strange, he doesn't remember him using the blanket before. Maybe he put it on when he was dozing off. Kili darted his eyes back to the backroom door. In the dim candlelight, he could see a wooden sign bolted to the door.

_backroom_  
_**KEEP OUT**_  
_please_

He turned back to his brother, out like a light. He turned to his Uncle, his eyes were closed, but you never knew with him. He slipped off the soft sheets and swung his legs onto the floor. He watched his feet as he carefully stood. A single floorboard creaked. He winced but continued. 

He was unable to wipe his giddy grin off his face as he shuffled to the door. The hallway was warm, but he couldn't stop shivering. He could hear snores from the other dwarves down the corridor. Kili stared at the door for a moment, feeling jittery and anxious. He couldn't help but think back to when he was a dwarfling. Trying to nick a bow for a midnight session or stealing a leftover dessert from the kitchen. His fingers traced the golden doorknob. Staring down the tunnel for any sign of their Hobbit host. He didn't want to get caught, Master Boggins seemed very temperamental. 

Kili finally turned the door open. Wincing at the soft click that echoed down the hall. It wasn't locked, odd. If he wanted to keep dwarves out, he would've at least locked it. he prince slowly pushed it open and leaned closer to peak further inside. He could see something luminous in the corner of the room. If he'd just open the door a little more-

"It's ridiculous!"

Kili froze. Turning to see a shadow growing in the hall. Closing the door, but not fully shutting it, he quickly bolted back into the room. He dove into the bed and curled up with his eyes shut tight. Kili didn't hear footsteps, but he heard the Hobbit talk. 

"Honestly! His timing his horrible - I should've never let him invite these dwarves." He hissed quietly.

"But you know he would've just invited them anyway," an amused feminine voice. Another - definitely not a dwarf or wizardry voice, cut through the air. Kili felt the hair on his neck stand but kept his eyes shut. There was someone else there.

"You should go." The voice spoke firmly, but kindly. It almost reminded him of when his mother would encourage him after a bad training lesson.

"Go?" Bilbo whispered incredulously. "_Gîlgalad -_" 

"It'll be good for you," the woman continued, her voice was so soft. Like bells chiming together in the silent woods. It would've lulled him to sleep if he wasn't so terrified. "You need to make friends."

"I have plenty of friends," the Hobbit scoffed. "I have you - and Poppy. I'm friendly with everyone in the Shire, I play with the fauntlings-" 

"That doesn't count," she replied humorously. "We live far apart, being friendly doesn't mean you're friends, and children don't count either."

Kili heard Bilbo huff and mutter to himself before continuing. "Star - I've seen their map, there won't be any past Rivendell. I won't be able to make it if there's an emergency." 

"There hasn't been a gem emergency in over a thousand years. We'll be fine if you go for a few months," the voice reassured. Kili scrunched his nose in confusion. Warp Pad? A thousand years? There was no way a Hobbit could live for that long! 

"From the sounds of it, these dwarves need your help."

"With how they acted, I doubt they deserve it," Bilbo muttered. Kili winced internally, were they really that rude? Maybe it was a Hobbit thing. He thought he was polite. They put his dishes away and he even used the boot scrapper by the door.

"You know what dwarves are like - they can't help it," she chided. Kili decided he liked this woman, whoever - or whatever she is. She was rational, unlike Master Boggins.

Bilbo sighed, "I'll have to reread the contract. You would love to look at it - The thing is as tall as a Diamond."

Diamonds aren't that big, the largest Kili has seen was the size of his thumb. Surely the Hobbit was mad. Mad Boggins has a beautiful ring to it. He would remember to call him that soon enough.

The woman laughed, the young prince thought back to melodious bells. "It'll be good for you. Besides, maybe they'll need a bodyguard." Kili let his face scrunch up again. They didn't need protection from a tiny Hobbit, they were hardened dwarven warriors! 

"Is that a ... hmm," Bilbo trailed off, suddenly sounding a lot tenser than before. 

"What is it?" the voice asked. 

Only silence replied. Kili felt his heart hammering in his throat. He almost screamed out when he heard the floorboard creak right in front of him. _Bilbo was right in front of him. _ He shuddered as he felt a cold hand brush his forehead. Above him he heard Bilbo hum, softer than before. 

"The lad seemed to be having a nightmare," the Hobbit sighed. Kili's heart was hammering dangerously and his head was thumping painfully but he took it in stride. Scrunched his face up further, he dug his face into his pillow. He remembered those nights when Fili had nightmares, although he would deny it, he would scream and often smack Kili whenever he'd try to wake him. 

Bilbo tutted silently, "Sleep is such an idiosyncratic thing." Kili didn't understand the word. But from the way Bilbo had said it, he felt offended. 

He felt the duvet be pulled back over him and be pushed underneath him. _The Hobbit tucked him in,_ he realised with a glowing red face. Were Hobbits usually so motherly? Only hours ago the creature was livid and screaming Khuzdul, which was still shocked him. 

Over Fili's snoring, he heard Bilbo murmur. "I suppose .. an adventure will be a breath of fresh air."

"That's the spirit," the woman cheered softly. 

The hand left his hair, and the floorboard creaked again. Once he heard the door close with an audible click, he opened his eyes and rushed out the breath he was holding. Kili shot up and looked around the room. Uncle's blanket was now up to his chin and wrapped around him like a cocoon. Fili was also tucked the same way he was. But how did that Hobbit manage not to wake Uncle up? He was the lightest sleeper he knows. He slowly lowered himself back down into his bed. That itch in his brain was now almost overwhelmingly vast. 

Kili grumbled, closed his eyes and rolled back around. 

_Aklâf!_ He didn't even get to see inside the backroom!

* * *

The sun was far past the horizon by the time the company woke. They could hear Hobbits bustling past. Master Baggins was nowhere in the Hobbit hole. Unlike the night before, the house was void of any clutter or dirt. It would've looked abandoned if there weren't lit candles or the occasional pile of scrolls astray of tables. But there were fourteen muffins on the dining room table. Thirteen of them had dark purple and blue spots that Dwalin thought were mold. But Bombur and Gandalf were quick to correct him.

"It's Blueberry," Gandalf picked up the one muffin without any of the blue spots. Bombur nodded as he took a large bite of his own.

"How come you get something different," Ori scrunched his nose as he picked at the food. Dori sighed and pushed the pastry into the fussy dwarf's mouth. 

"Because he knows me well," the wizard explained with a smug glint in his eye. But that glimmer was quickly extinguished when he took a bite. He frowned sourly and put the muffin back down. Bombur snatched the muffin and took a tiny bite. He soured, but chuckled at the taste and put it back down.

"He used salt," he continued to chuckle and kept chewing his own muffin. "A petty little hobbit."

Kili tentatively grabbed his own bun, sniffing it and pulling it apart. Usually he would devour a sweet within moments but after that night he was put on edge.

"Yoeh guood?" Fili asked through a mouthful, pinching his brow in concern. 

"Yeah yeah," he nodded rapidly. Quickly he gulped it down and tried to shake all jittery feelings away. But like writing ink on skin it only faded away lightly.

"There are ponies waiting for us beyond the border," Thorin grunted. "We already woke up late and we must travel swiftly."

The company murmured in agreement, picking up their heavy travel bags with a grunt and waddling to the door. Thorin walked ahead of them all, stumbling with the small hobbit-sized steps before reaching the gate.

"Took you lot long enough."

Thorin whipped his head around to see the Hobbit sitting on a decayed bench. Baggins grinned as he stood up, garnet coat swaying with the soft wind. He grabbed the bag on the seat, comically small compared to what the dwarves had. 

"I'd expected you all to wake, maybe at dawn. But its past second breakfast." He tsked softly as he ruffled through his worn overcoat. The king felt his face go red, and the rest of the company followed with shuffling feet.

Bilbo finally took out the contract and handed it to Balin. Kili perked up at the sight of the paper. He tried to peer over Dwalin's broad shoulders as Balin raised his long brow and took the scroll. 

"I changed it, but its nothing to worry about," Bilbo waved a hand over his shoulder dismissively. But the king and advisor didn't seem to believe him and unfurled the long parchment. 

A tense silence followed as the two looked over the contract. Beside them Gandalf shuffled next to the Hobbit, eyeing him with merriment. 

"Oh hush," Bilbo hissed. Gandalf just shook his head and opened the gate, loitering outside the garden as he did the last morning. The small man bared his teeth at him and mouthed silently, "Creepy ol' bugger."

"Master Baggins-" Balin began slowly, like he was a child who had his pet run away. "All you did was cross out the payment." 

Bilbo simply shrugged, "As I said - I find no use for gold nor _gems._" He quietened down at the mention of gems, grimacing with poorly hidden emotion in his voice. It went unsaid, but not unnoticed. 

Balin nodded, he obviously didn't want to push anything. After folding the contract back up, he tucked it into his bag. The king eyeing him suspiciously the whole time. But the advisor simply stretched his hand out. 

"Well then - in that case. Welcome to the company Master Burglar." Balin announced with an inviting smile. Some of the dwarves cheered encouragingly. Possibly to make the scene less tense. Nori cursed to himself and handed smug looking Óin a small sack of gold coins. Thorin was still glaring at him dubiously. 

In the middle of the group, Kili gulped. He felt his hand clutch his stomach protectively and chewed his lip. Fili glanced over, but he shooed him away with a strained grin. 

Bilbo nodded and shook his hand. He looked up at Gandalf, who was pocketing another bag of coins. The small man crossed his arms and raised a brow. 

"I never doubted you for a moment," Gandalf answered curtly.

"I hope you liked your muffin," Bilbo answered back drily.

And with that, they left. All of the dwarves shuffled out of the quaint little garden, Bofur accidentally broke the gate's lock with his axe. But Bilbo didn't say anything of it. The day was bright and the sky was clear, all of Bilbo's neighbors stopped their daily chores to stare at the company. All with wide, fear filled eyes. Most of the dwarves didn't notice the stared. But Ori began to slowly shrink into himself at the newfound sudden attention.

"Don't worry," Bilbo said next to him. The young dwarf jumped but the Hobbit continued, "The Shire isn't fond of new people, they'd warm up to you if you fix their vanity and invite them for tea." 

Ori furrowed his brow, opening his mouth to question the hobbit about his home further. But he had already moved further ahead of the group, standing in front of Gandalf. The scribe bit his lip and looked to the ground. He couldn't help but wonder, _why did that sound so personal?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sindarin  
gîlgalad: _starlight_  
khuzdul  
aklâf: _damn_
> 
> secret conversations ! mystery woman oh my ! am i already gonna end my chapter like this who knows ! not me ! i've made art for this so yall better be liking it. i've been trying to make things more descriptive and generally better but oh do i fail miserably because wow i gotta wack headache


	4. the wrath of children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bilbo goes on an adventure   
hobbit children are something to fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg im awful i haven't updated in ages BUT i have reasons  
i had a week holiday in new zealand was able to write like half of this and when the holidays ended i was dumped with schoolwork and i still am so this is a little shortish compared to the other chapters  
but while i was in new zealand i went to hobbiton which was amazing so this is lowkey filler chapter is dedicated to that

The sun was bright, and the sky was clear. His home now far over the grassy hills as they drew closer to the Green Dragon Inn, passing the party tree a. Hobbits stopped their daily routines to stare at the group, varying from disgust or fear. If the dwarves noticed, they did not say anything of it. But despite the hobbit's words, Ori was still squirming under the townsfolk's beady glare.

Ori scrunched his nose as he stared at the back of his coat, partially rationalising his thoughts and partially admiring the embroidery on the hobbits back. But stitching a golden star so supremely must mean the newly appointed burglar has nimble fingers. 

He glanced over to his brothers, who were still staring at the smaller creature, now in wary confusion. Ori tugged a chin braid thoughtfully but kept his suspicions stirring quietly. He'd have to ask Nori about it.

While in his absent thoughts, he failed to notice a small hobbit, barely reaching his knee, stumble past the group. But the rest of the company did. They stared in awe at the small child as if it were a horse with dove wings. The fauntling tootled behind Bilbo, staring at the taller hobbit with wide eyes.

“Mister Bilbo?”

The small creature turned at the mention of his name, blinked owlishly, and then stopped to fully stare at the little boy. “Oh, Lotho? Uh – Where’s your mother?” He suddenly began to fidget, darting his eyes around as he smiled.

“Around,” the boy shuffled his comically large feet. Lotho pouted, “Mister Gamgee had saided you weren’t going to be around for a long, long while.”

“Ah – Well – I am but-” Bilbo stammered over his words, the dwarrow watched to the side in confusion and mild impatience. Thorin especially grew exasperated as he scowled at the two creatures, snarling silently to himself.

The fauntling’s wide eyes begin to tear up, his lip hanging over his chin as he whipped around. “Bilbo’s leaving!” He yelled to the empty dirt pathway.

The elder started to wave his hands, protesting to the now devastated boy. Meanwhile, the company watched in either awed terror as a herd of children, assumedly ten to fifteen small hobbits, stumbled out of bushes and around fence posts with loud objections.

“Mister Bilbo you can’t leave!”

“Who’ll tell us stories!?”

“Does it mean you can’t show us your magic tricks anymore?”

“But I wanna see you pull things from your heart!”

“I wanna know what happens to the moon hero!”

"Yeah what about Busy Smith!"

"No silly it's Blis smith!"

Small hobbits weave around the dwarven ground, barely sparing a glance as they all crowded around the now flustered man. Some began to clutch his trousers, and others tugged his sleeves and coattail.

“Oi! Aye now! Rorimac what did I say about – Briony do not tug on that!” Bilbo lifted his arm out of a small girl’s grip, fastening the cloth band around his wrist as she whined and hugged his knee instead.

Balin patted Thorin’s shoulder in hopes to placate his irritation. Watching in amusement at the entire scene. The fauntling’s continued climbed over the chestnut-haired Baggins until his face turned a mix of blue, red and purple.

“Alright, alright! Off. Now!” Bilbo grounded out, and the herd of children stopped their chatter, and the boy around his neck dropped to the floor. His nose twitched scruffily and then took a deep breath, pressing a hand against his chest before regaining his posture.

"He's good at that," Bofur murmured to Bombur, who hummed slowly.

“Now – One at a time just like a told you,” he spoke again with softness the company hadn’t seen since they met the small hobbit.

Thorin opened his mouth but was silenced by Balin who squeezed his shoulder. Slowly, a girl rose her arm. Bilbo nodded for her to continue.

“Are you leaving forever?”

“Great stars no. I’m just going to help these,” he gestured vaguely to the dwarves beside him, some seizing up at the many curious eyes. Even the King himself shifting uncomfortably, “lovely, dwarves on a little quest."

"Where are you going?"

Bilbo puffed his cheeks and tutted, "That's a mystery for now, but it is past Bree." 

Cries erupted from the young crowd. Mainly complaining how far away it was and other pleading with him not to go. Bilbo looked to Gandalf who only shrugged. That's all the wizard seemed to be doing, he grumbled internally. 

"What about the story of the Mad Moonlight!" The same girl as before whined as she tugged at the cuff of his trousers. A wave of "yeah!" and "I wanna know what happens!" ripped through the herd. 

"You'll just have to wait till I get back," Bilbo wagged his finger as he gently pushed the girl off. "A good story already involved suspense. Now, will you let me go?" He put his hands on his hips, staring down at the few fauntling's who sat on his feet. 

They shook their heads. Drat.

"Uncle Halfred went on an adventure and came back, missing an ear!"

"Ma said there are mean, nasty things."

"Makes you late for dinner."

A hum of confirmation echoed around the group. Bilbo pinched his nose and took a deep breath. "Well you can't ban me from doing this, I'm sure your parents will be thrilled by my absence," he said dryly. 

"But we'll miss you!" 

"And your stories!"

"And I'm touched, truly - But I need to help these dwarves with a very important mission. Besides, I'll be back before you know I'm gone." He tried to reason, but they all just shook their heads again. Bilbo looked up to Gandalf in hopes for some form of help.

Gandalf chuckled under his breath and held his hands in surrender. "Let's have a compromise," he spoke softly, "You all may ... escort us to the edge of town and say farewell then. And Bilbo can finish this tale you all seem so enamoured about." 

Whispers shuddered through the mob, seconds felt torturous as Lotho shuffled forward with his hands behind his back and his chin held high. 

"Alright," he huffed. Bilbo and Gandalf let out soft sighs of relief, for they were spared of a rather untimely demise.

* * *

Thorin wasn't listening to the halfling, not at all. But his story seemed nonsensical and silly, a 'moonlight' under the tyranny of a 'snow queen' and a 'twilight general' who met some kind of knight or blacksmith, he wouldn't know because he wasn't listening. It was obviously midway through the tale that detailed an adventure to defeat a 'turquoise monster' which Thorin just internally scoffed at, why demonised such a vibrant gem, hobbits really were dull. He didn't bother turning around, he knew that the others weren't going to listen to this whimsical fantasy. 

"- and then the blacksmith and the moonlit slave escaped the mean snow queen and her general and had a happily ever after. Now can you let go?" the larger hobbit pleaded, and all of the children hanging on hip dropped like rotting fruit. He sighed heavily in relief as some children wandered off with a soft farewell and others stayed, staring mournfully at the older hobbit. 

"I'll be back before you've even realised I'm gone," Baggins reassured for what seemed like the fifth time, ruffling Lotho's dark locks. The kid just stared up at him with a scrunched up face. 

Thorin scoffed lightly this time, turning to the forest to avoid the children's mournful looks. He grunted loudly to get their attention, "We must be on the road soon unless we wish the day to be wasted." He heard more soft protests and possibly the sound of one sticking their tongue out and blowing. He ignored it and shifted to fully face the woods in front of him. 

"Go on now you'll all be late for luncheon," Bilbo ushered and turned to slowly outside Hobbiton borders. The rest of the company lingered around children before slowly following. 

Bofur sighed, adjusting his pack and taking a step forward, only to be stopped by a soft tug on his pickaxe. He turned to see the same hobbit girl, Briony, grasping the handle of his tool with a sour look. He didn't have a chance to ask for her to let go, she spoke first. 

"Mister Baggins does a lot of dumb things." 

He furrowed his brow as another hobbit boy continued, "Always putting others before himself." 

The girl continued, "Make sure he doesn't do dumb things." The boy nodded with her. "He doesn't think it, but people like him here because he isn't real, we'd be really sad not to see him come back," 

Dumbly, the miner nodded, and the girl let go without another word. Just nodding, as a goodbye or an agreement he didn't know. She turned and ran off with the boy in tow. He stared at the first retreating back, staying glued to his spot until he heard a brash voice. 

"C'mon brother! Don't wanna get left behind, do ye'?" Bombur called, and Bofur quickly snapped his head to his brother, seeing the trail of dwarfs walk without him. 

He smiled jerkily, "Not at all!" He quickly jogged next to his brother and cousin, staring at the hobbits back as jumbled thoughts raced through his head. The walked in silence as the past the grassy plateau and slowly reached the thick woods ahead of them. Thorin barely stepped foot into the forest as a shrill voice screeched behind them. 

"Good riddance freak!" 

"Oh, what now!" Gloin cried, stomping around to see a red faces hobbit woman with Lotho pressed against her bosom. 

"You never were real hobbit - or a Baggins! A freak in hobbit skin!" 

The rest of the dwarves turned to their newly appointed burglar, who just kept his back turned and his face blank, devoid of any reaction. 

"I don't know why Belladonna and Bungo put up with you! Maybe she just pretended she had a real son instead of some unwanted foreigner!" the woman continued mercilessly. There were feet away from Hobbiton border, but her words were loud and clear. "I hope you get eaten by a troll!" 

Bilbo lifted his head and craned his neck to stare at the woman. He just huffed and smiled, "Good day Lobelia!" with that he walked ahead of the group and waved a hand over his shoulder. She screamed something unintelligible as Gandalf began to usher the dwarves further into the forest. 

"Come now best we be off before noon," the wizard chuckled raspily, also ignoring the screaming hobbit. Only Kili noticed the scathing glare that the wizard threw over his shoulder. 

Another beat of silence passed, more tense and uncomfortable than before. They reached the horses, paid the ranger holding them, and they all mounted quietly. With a single shout from Thorin, they began to trot off. Bilbo looked over his shoulder past the trees to stare at Hobbiton, Lobelia still screaming by the fence, a small smile graced his features as he lightly kicked the small pony to step in line with his new company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rushed and abrupt end i know but i rlly wanted to add lobelia even for a little bit but   
oooo whos gonna find out about bilbo first, place your bets folks bc im gonna drag this out until rivendell but next on the list TROLLS


End file.
